Proposed industry standards for the terms “TREACHERY” and “CHAOS”

As much as I love reporters using the same terms over and over again, I feel that without any clear definition some of the power of these words may be lost upon the audience.  Therefore, I propose official industrial standards for these two terms.

Treachery

Clearly, in cases where this term is used, the conditions must not be merely and/or obviously dangerous.  The situation should initially appear tranquil – perhaps a sunny day with happy rabbits frolicking on the hard shoulder.  However, over time, the road-based conspiracy to undermine and betray the driver will become clear.  A quiet malevolent laughter will be audible underfoot.

Possible alternatives: dangerous, unsafe, difficult.

Chaos

A long line of stationary cars is clearly not chaotic; this situation is, in fact, relatively ordered.  If the term chaos is used, the following should be expected:

  • At least one overturned, burning car;
  • Screaming women pulling their hair out;
  • Helicopters crashing on the horizon;
  • Complete confusion (as opposed to the clear realisation that you should have stayed at home)

[Apologies to anyone that got trapped or had an accident in the snow.]

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